Caitlynn Farrell

Caitlynn Farrell is a sophomore at SJVA. She aspires to be an actress or an innocence attorney. She is best known for her optimistic poetry. She’s also writing and producing her own songs.

Final Hours

You said I was the most beautiful girl

In my final hours

We walked with our hearts with a tip of a blade in our backs

We sang a song we had never heard before 

Sometimes I wish 

You and me could be 

The only things lasting in my final hours

Why do I still feel this way

Even when said goodbye

The world will not be on our sides

The last time we open our eyes

Even when the world ends 

You still won't be mine

You could agree with me when I say 

Even the smallest child is afraid of death

When his mother tells him goodnight

Sometimes I wish 

You and me could be 

The only things lasting in my final hours

Why do I still feel this way 

Even when we said goodbye

The world will not be on our sides

The last time we open our eyes

We ask for more time 

And everything will be alright 

But even the oldest person is afraid of life

When she tucks herself into bed

Sometimes I wish 

You and me could be

The only things lasting in my final hours

Why do I still feel this way

Even when we said goodbye

The world will not be on our side

The last time we open our eyes

Don’t Let Them In Too Easy

You don’t think about the future 

You don’t want control

Being suicidal ain’t so much fun

When others are having a blast 

You’re just a depressed man

Painted walls 

With scattered scars

Pointing to your open heart 

Missed calls and no voicemails 

Don’t let them in too easy

Science was your worst class

But you failed all of high school

Mom and dad don’t love you 

You’re alone in this situation 

You’re just a depressed man

Painted walls 

With scattered scars 

Pointing to your open heart

Missed calls and no voicemails 

Don’t let them in too easy 

Your confused 

You don’t know what to do 

Leave dad to decide

They don’t know 

What goes on inside

But I do 

You’re just a depressed person 

You can’t hide 

From me no longer 

I’ll take control of you one day

Mom and dad raised a son

But die having a daughter 

Your just a depressed woman 

Painted walls 

With scattered scars

Pointing to your open heart 

Missed calls and no voicemails 

Don’t let them in too easy

Don’t let them in too easy

We Were All Born To Die 

I hear the silent church bells ringing

Could this be the end

I woke up to children screaming 

Is this really the end

I wake up the gloomy mornings 

Holding my breath 

I hear the birds chirping 

Could this be my last day 

When it all goes wrong 

We wake up to sunny skies 

No more tomorrow or after-morrow 

This is the end 

We were all born to die 

No way to apologize for the mess I made

I wake up to silent skies and deserted roads

No messes to be cleaned up

When no one around 

There’s no one to turn to 

When all die 

When we see our life flash before our eyes

We cross the path into the eternal light 

There is no5m heaven there is no hell 

We were all born to die 

We were all born to die 

All born to die 

But All I Saw Was A Façade

Sitting by the window 

In an English townhouse watching the cars pass by

I crossed my legs when you sat beside me to play cards

You looked so pretty but I could see those tears in your eyes 

Your heart got fast as you talked and laughed 

But all I saw was a façade

I turn the television on

Giving a wide grin

You look at me and kicked off your shoes

Your face was so so handsome 

Your hands were nice and warm 

Your face was of an angel 

But all I saw was a façade

Trees turn orange 

Seasons pass by

Cold England air touched my skin

Your nose goes red

You sniff and stare 

Down at your feet

Turn to me and whisper

“You’re so pretty”

But all I saw was a façade

You cried and cried 

I tried to help 

I woke from a dream

I tossed and turned

With you beside me

And when I saw your face

A single tear fell from your cheek 

As you slept so peacefully

But all I saw was a façade

But all I saw was a façade

Empty Souls Seen

 The cloudless blue sky is not as empty as your eyes

You stare into empty souls as they walk by 

Spring changes those that have full hearts 

Those who don’t want to be stuck in winter 

You can spot those who are still in winter with your empty eyes

You see their empty souls walking behind them like a shadow person

That’s what makes you different from the rest

Your soul is full but your eyes are empty 

You’re in spring but you see winter

And what about me 

There is no me 

I’m just your soul 

Your eyes tell me what to see 

And all I see is sadness 

The season of rebirth births people into monsters 

And it birthed you into a monster too

Dear Poppy

I’m sorry I didn’t cry for you 

Or ask where you went 

Or why you were gone

I wasn’t confused I knew what happened but I pushed it away

They always told me you were watching me from Heaven 

But what kid would understand that

I mean what what messed up kid would understand death 

Would you even be proud of me? I’m the opposite of you

Would you be disappointed that I don’t speak Spanish? 

Would you be mad that I don’t believe in God? 

I needed you but you were taken away

I would’ve helped you give out to the homeless 

And you could teach me guitar 

And we could make your chocolate ice cream with peanuts and watch the news 

We could go fishing in the gulf

And every Saturday you could make your famous breakfast 

I know you still love me and I know that whatever happens you’ll always be watching over me

From, 

Your loving granddaughter

Take Me Back to the City on the Coast

My Heart is heavy, but I don't know why 

I’m searching for something, a feeling I can’t explain 

A memory, a moment, a melody or something to ease the pain

And everytime I close my eyes, I see your sad face

I try to forget you 

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t resist

The memories of our love

Rearranges my thoughts

Making your love feel like a drug

Take me back to the city on the coast 

Where our love was so young and alive

We were wild and free, nothing could bring us down

Take me back to the city on the coast.

Walking down the boulevard 

Aphrodite takes my place

It seems as if somethings missing 

It’s your hand in mine 

And every time I close my eyes, I see your sad face

I try to forget you 

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t resist 

The memories of our love 

Rearranges my thoughts 

Making your love feel like a drug

Take me back to the city on the coast

Where our love was so young and alive

We were wild and free, nothing could bring us down

Take me back to the city on the coast

Take me back to the city on the coast

I’ll be waiting here for you 

In the city on the coast

We Live In America

We live in America the land of the free

But where is the freedom?

Where the poor get poorer and the rich get richer

Where white men rule the country and make the rules

We live in America the land that was made to escape religion 

But we are told to believe in God

We are forced to swear under God 

We are told to only be Christians or get out of here

We live in America were this country thrives off of emigrants

But we hate emigrants and tell them to go back to their country

Where laws are passed to legally shoot those coming from Mexico

We live in America the country which we stole from the Native Americans

But we are taking away their homes their land

We took their culture away

We forced their children to go to abusive schools

We live in America where we can be who we want to be

But the government is taking LGBTQIA+ rights away

Where we are scared to show our true selves because we don’t want to be killed

Where LGBTQIA+ kids are being bullied to death

We live in America where we feel protected

But its 2023 and there has already been 130 mass shootings

Killing children is not as important as the right to bear arms

Where these poor babies are dying because of gun violence

We live in America which is one of the most Ethnically diverse countries

But Black men, women, and children are being killed and no one cares

Asian men, women, and children are being beaten up and no one cares

Hispanic men, women, and children are being denied citizenship and no one cares

We live in America the country that needs women to survive

But they can be raped and killed by men and the women are still blamed

Where a woman can’t terminate a pregnancy because a person without a uterus says so

Where we are denied health care and basic human rights just because we are female

We live in America where we are supposed to protect people

But everyone is dying and being tortured but no ones cares

Where women will face time for aborting a baby but the rapist will be free

Where POC are blamed for a white mans doing or wrongly accused of crime

We live in America the land of the free 

But are we really free if we aren't white, straight, cis, and male?

Trapped

 I feel like I’m trapped under ice

Stuck in deep, dark, and cold water

Whenever I try to break free my knuckles just bleed

Should I just drown or should I keep trying

I always think there's something swimming behind me 

Nothings there

I get so scared when I can’t see the ground I’m standing on

But I’m not standing I’m swimming 

Trying to stay alive 

I’ve purposely tried to drown

But do I really want to die

The darkness surrounds me and brings me in

I feel comforted 

But this is all that I’m used too

I see the things I love on the other side of the ice

But I can’t break free

I’m trying to leave the only life I have

But the darkness pulls me back

I’m trapped 

I’m hurt

I’m scared

Because in the end, I don’t want to die

I just want to be loved

The Weeping Woman

They called her the weeping woman

Crying for her sons

But living for her daughters

If she had lived in another country

She’d be living for her children

Maybe her sons would’ve gone to college 

And her daughters would marry rich men

But losing a husband couldn’t get her anywhere

Maybe if there hadn’t been a war

She wouldn’t be crying

Maybe if there wasn’t any hatred 

She wouldn’t have took her own life